Red Eyed Zombie

If the next time you see me I appear to be in a zombie-like, sleep walking, daze...don't be surprised. 

A new full time job and a 20 credit hour semester are bound to have that affect. For the next 16 weeks, my schedule will go a little something like this:

MONDAY: Work at the Ranch from 7 a.m. to 5 p.m....except for every other Monday when I leave at 2:30 to get to my Spiritual Meditation in Healing class from 3-6p                                

TUESDAY: Nursing in Global Perspective....Senior Seminar...Senior Project...Nursing Leadership and  Development...Parasitology...Parasitology Lab. Yep...I'm in class from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. without a scheduled break. 

WEDNESDAY: Work...Work...Work...7--5 

THURSDAY: Back at the Ranch from 7 a.m. to 5 p.m....except to leave for a few hours to attend Parasitology.

FRIDAY: Working the day away at the Ranch.

ONCALL: Monday through Friday and Every other weekend

Luckily for me, the ranch hands like me enough to work with my school schedule this last semester and let me work 10 hour days to make up for being gone on Tuesdays. Now, I just need to figure in time for the gym, homework, and house work. Oh ya...and there's also that Senior Project/Final Clinical I've got to squeeze in during graveyards or on the weekends.

When I explained my schedule to my Nursing Leadership and Development teacher, he looked me right in the eye and said, "There are two things you're going to need to make it through this semester. Tylenol and Xanax." 

Who can write me a prescription? 

Subliminal Messaging...

It's amazing what you learn in BYU stats...

 

Click to enlarge

I'm a failure!

Decisions Are The Worst

I got offered a job...Here

Pros:

• Full time RN position
• Willing to work with my school schedule for this last semester
• Working with a population that I love!
• Monday-Friday with weekends off
• Option to be on call every other weekend and make a little extra $$$
• When I met with the staff it just felt right...I know, cliche' 

Cons:

• Full time position and I have 17 credit hours this semester. The semester that starts in 2 days.
• Full time position and I have a 180 hour Senior Project/Preceptorship to complete this semester.

Okay, so those are the only cons. In reality, if I had been offered the job immediately following my interview I would have taken it right then. The basis for the majority of my decisions revolves around how I feel. Call it intuition. Call it the Spirit. Call it naivety. Being with the staff from Discovery Ranch felt right. Felt as though I'd known them for longer than the 2 hours we spent lunching together for my interview. That was 10 days ago and now my brain has gotten involved. 

My brain is hung up on a few things. Aside from the aforementioned cons, I don't want to take the position just because it's offered. Things have been getting more and more frustrating at my current job. I suppose it's the normal frustrations of feeling as though your concerns are not being heard. Frustrations that nothing is changing...the passiveness of "we're in a learning phase...things will work themselves out" so I fear I'd be taking the position just to escape the situation. I fear leaving my wonderful residents in the current situation without some one willing to advocate for them and ballsy enough to open her mouth and be heard...me. 

And then there's all the what ifs. What if? What if? What if? 


Basically, it comes down to the fact that I'm scared. 

What to do. What to do.

Blog Fail

Wow...where has the last 6 months gone! What can I say? Time flies when your having fun...that and things pretty much stay the same in my little corner of the world the majority of the time. But, for those of you who have been waiting with baited breath, here's a short...or perhaps not-so-short...summary of what I've been up to.

JULY

SMITH SUPERSTAR RALLY

 

 I was on the RED team again...and again we WON!

And...

HAVASUPAI! Except, it was closed! After almost 12 hours of driving we reached the turn off to Indian 18 only to be greeted by a giant stop sign! There had been a flood washing out the trail a few days before...and no one had called to cancel our reservation. After a bit of deliberation we decided to jump onto I-40 and head to California! After 15 hours smashed together in Betty, my Dodge Caliber, we arrived in San Pedro! Thanks does not even begin to cover our gratitude to our friend Aymara's family that opened their living room to us! We set up camp out in the garage and crashed on their couches!

 We played at the Santa Monica Pier...eating the MREs we packed for Hava, riding the giant ferris wheel, walking along the board walk, and listening to live music.

 Spent a day at Disney Land...

 Did some Boogy Boarding at Manhattan Beach...  

And splurged on fresh seafood for our final meal! After eating MREs for almost every meal, this was a fantastic treat! While it wasn't the trip we'd planned, a good time was had by all. I think the best part was the time spent in the car...laughing, teasing, singing a long to the radio

And...

"Stashing" people during the drive home! 

At our rest stop in Beaver we each bought a fake mustache and wore it the rest of the ride home. We'd drive right up next to people and drive even with them until they looked at us...then we'd just do the head nod and speed off...they'd been Stashed!

AUGUST

Back to school for my second to last semester! I'm beginning to believe the light at the end of the tunnel is not a train, but in fact the light at the end of the road. 

SEPTEMBER

Rock and Roll All Night...And Party Every Day

 Kierstan and I at the KISS concert 9-22-10

 So much fun! I really could rock and roll all night and party everyday!

BEST SHOT EVER! I decided next time they come in concert, I'm springing for back stage passes!

ALSO...

I'm going to be a GREAT AUNT! Brit Brit and Colby announced they had a bun in the oven! I'm so stinkin' excited I can hardly stand it! Baby Girl expected to arrive at the end of March 2011

OCTOBER

Happy Hauntings! Our annual Halloween Party...also my favorite time of year!

I was a fabulous flapper girl! 

NOVEMBER

Thanksgiving! Mom bought a table a year or so ago that expands from a 4 foot round to seating for 20 and she finally got to put it to good use as this year our table was set for 15! Although we've been having monthly family dinner together, this was the first time we've all been together for Thanksgiving since I was a little girl! I was extra thankful to spend the day with the majority of those I love, although it made me miss my Grandma and Grandpa just a little bit more. My mom's neighbors also joined in, since he had broken his foot so they weren't able to travel home to be with family. 

And who knew a dog bed could be so much fun! Kenn took turns spinning Kaicee and Finnley  around on the hard wood floor...giggles galore!

DECEMBER

 This year I took charge of starting a new tradition! The Giant Gingerbread Build Off! It was more work than I anticipated...that a lot of gingerbread dough to knead, but it was well worth the effort! Every time I opened the over door I expected one to jump out and say, "Run, run, run as fast as you can! You can't catch me! I'm the Gingerbread Man! We all had such a great time, laughing and giggling at what each person came up with!

And as a bonus...they tasted Mmm Mmm Good!

And now, it's the last day of the year. All in all, 2010 has been a good year. I made new friends, had new experience, and made new memories to last a life time.

Vampires Suck...

I Can't Wait!